Published December 2, 2009
Dancing in the rain
As the tears fall down
Mascara running down her face
As she smiles at burning space
Twirling in joy
Laughing at the pain
Caused by her own hands.
Walking down the lonely road to enlightenment.
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140,667 Literary Works • 673,585 Reviews
Well, mascara could also be used on the bottom lashes.
When it gets wet, it drips down your face.
That was great! i like the way you said mascara running down her face, but dont you only use mascara on the top lashes? eyeliner is the thing that gets on your face if you cry or get it wet. i also like walking down the road to enlightenment, and i like the word choice. all in all, you did a good job!
This was interesting. I liked the rhymes, and I think you did a good job on that. I kinda get the pain caused by her own hands part, but I had to read it twice to totally get it. I think the title could have involved more of the poem, but I understand why you picked Burning. It was really great though, I love rhyming, though I'm not able to do it much!
Great job! 