Dancing in the rain
As the tears fall down
Mascara running down her face
As she smiles at burning space
Twirling in joy
Laughing at the pain
Caused by her own hands.
Walking down the lonely road to enlightenment.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,009 Literary Works • 672,839 Reviews
Well, mascara could also be used on the bottom lashes.
When it gets wet, it drips down your face.
That was great! i like the way you said mascara running down her face, but dont you only use mascara on the top lashes? eyeliner is the thing that gets on your face if you cry or get it wet. i also like walking down the road to enlightenment, and i like the word choice. all in all, you did a good job!
This was interesting. I liked the rhymes, and I think you did a good job on that. I kinda get the pain caused by her own hands part, but I had to read it twice to totally get it. I think the title could have involved more of the poem, but I understand why you picked Burning. It was really great though, I love rhyming, though I'm not able to do it much!
Great job! 